What can a kid do with his or her secret?
He or she can tell somebody.
The idea makes most kids very nervous. That's natural. If whatever is going on was easy to talk about, they'd have done so already.
Acknowledging this fear, I'll restate that they must pick someone to tell, but I suggest they pick very carefully.
Many kids who ran away say that they did try to talk to someone. What did that person do?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Why not? Because they didn't want to get involved, because they thought if they ignored it the kid might change his or her mind, because they didn't want to start a lot of trouble with the family, because they didn't believe that the reason the kid wanted to run away was true, or because they just didn't know what to do.
Their attitude was pretty much: Let somebody else deal with this mess.
Can you imagine living for days, months or years with a secret like one of your parents is an addict, or beats you, or has sex with you, only to finally tell someone and have them do nothing? It happens all the time.
Most kids have already learned the world can be very disappointing and you can never assume somebody's going to do the right thing just because they ought to. A kid needs to look for an adult in his or her family or community who is clearly sympathetic, is in a position to help with whatever is going on, and is willing to help. Also, if a kid picks up a telephone and punches zero, any operator can provide the number for a child-abuse hotline, a runaway hotline, an alcohol or drug abuse hotline or a suicide hotline.
A kid can be dark and moody and mope around as much as he or she wants, it doesn't guarantee somebody's going to rush over and say, "Please, please, tell me what's wrong!" The kid has to take the initiative.
If you're a kid with a secret, you tell somebody, and you keep telling until somebody takes you seriously. In the meantime, you may be called a liar, a troublemaker and a problem child, but consider this: Who is telling the truth? If you are telling the truth, keep telling until somebody really helps you.
Who could you tell? If you are a young person, don't close this book until you've at least begun to think about who you'd talk to if you had a problem or were thinking about running away. In your life, who would it be?
A teacher at school?
A guidance counselor?
A clergyperson? Somebody at your church, temple, mosque or shrine?
A relative?
A friend of the family?
A runaway-hotline counselor?
A childabuse-hotline counselor?
Who else?
Think about it.
Think about it right now.
And if you're an adult, try to be a dependable knot in the net that catches kids before they fall to the streets. Because too many adults don't take talk of kids running away seriously. They think it's only teen drama. Sometimes it is. But kids really do run away. Some don't live, many don't return, and none are ever the same.
Thanks for reading the book.
Kevin
parents,
teachers,
and counselors